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An acquired taste

I'm subscribed to Hammer Horror's YouTube channel, and they recently posted the clip I'm sharing. It reminded me of how...formative the Hammer vampire films were, and are, for me.

Best Game of Thrones tshirt

Thanks to a lovely friend, I now have THE BEST TSHIRT EVER *squee*


Bi Visibility Day

Happy Bi Visibility Day!
Still here, still hella bi, not invisible. Much love and many bi - fives to people today :-)

Hawaiian dance

This evening was the last session of 6 weeks of Hawaiian and Tahitian dance classes that I've been attending. I have fallen completely in love with the dance style, which feels so natural and joyful. I will miss the classes dearly.

Selfie + sword

Also from the photo shoot yesterday, they gave me a sword!


Film thoughts - Guardians of the Galaxy

Under a cut because spoilers etc

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Poem-thing: Signs of a Good Night Out

Prompted by talking to people about upcoming club night, this fell out of my head. First time I've attempted anything vaguely poetry for quite a while...

Signs of a good night out

Some people measure a good night out
By how drunk they’ve got, how pissed,
The number of selfies of their made-up pout
And the number of randoms they’ve kissed.

And for them, that’s absolutely fine,
I’m happy for them, for that to be their goal.
But for me, I listen to the god of wine,
Who has a higher price upon my soul.

The first is aches and pains,
In legs and necks, backs and feet,
Your whole body should feel the morning-after strains
Of moving your body wildly to the beat.

Then the memories, all smiles and no shame.
My lipstick smeared across another’s lips.
I have no one but myself to blame,
For the finger-tip marks caressing my hips.

Finally the bruises, that I find with a hiss,
Hard to explain the in the cold light of day.
From dancing, from falling, from biting, from a kiss...
Every single one a price I will gladly fucking pay.

The not-so-great

Empire was excellent and I have had a really good few days recently, but not the suck is piling up again and I need to have a vent.

- Got back from event to a rejection letter for a job that would have been great. It was also a really negatively-worded letter, pointing out that I wasn't good enough rather than there were other better people (which is the lie I prefer to hear).
- Went for a job interview on Tuesday for a role that would have been perfect, and thought it went really well. Didn't hear anything until Friday and they didn't want me.
- Tent got wet and muddy again at Empire and I need to clean it and it already is starting to get holes in and I just want it to be better so I don't have to worry about it or spend more money on it argh
- Odyssey soon, which I'm really looking forward to but I am so worried about our group being small. I keep trying to recruit people but it doesn't work. I know it's a hard culture to pitch because of various problems, but things definitely won't get fixed if the group dwindles and disappears. I really love the group, and have been a part of it since before the first event, and it would be such a shame for it to fold. Argh, I don't know what to do.


Good Day

So today was a Good Day!
- Bloodtest was miraculously swift and painless
- Exciting things arrived in the post: my new contact lenses for Empire and some mysterious lovely person has sent me a shawl that I had been sighing over! Shawl by Shovava on Etsy: https://img0.etsystatic.com/021/1/5270373/il_570xN.562982624_qhh0.jpg Thank you you lovely person, whoever you are!
- Went for my first free weight training session at the gym. Did a lot on technique and I have seen true evil in the form of goblet squats
- 2hrs of belly dance this evening was great fun
- Glorious sunshine!


Music from this weekend

Heard this at Shennanigans on Saturday, and kind of fell in love with it :)
'Find Yourself' - John O'Callaghan feat. Sarah Howells


Packing for Empire

Corax is "helping" me pack


Music: 'Aicha' - Cheb Khaled

We're doing a choreography to this in my bellydance class, and I am being reminded how much I love it:



Dark Tempus event last weekend blew my mind, and I am definitely not fully over it yet. I adore the game and my wonderful, horrible group <3
I was also really happy with how my makeup and kit looked :)


Another rejection

Went for another interview today. It went really well but didn't get it. They sounded genuinely apologetic at least, and said that I interviewed really well but there was someone with more experience.

Sad rather than angry this time, which is almost worse.


Yet another job interview failure

Went for another interview on Wednesday (after having gone to Newcastle the week before to visit the dept), thought it went fairly well and they said that they would let people know soon.

Just had an automatically generated email from their hr system telling me I had been unsuccessful. No attempt to contact me or offer me feedback.

I am so fucking sick of this.


Help. I keep trying to log on to my laptop but I get the following error : The User profile service service failed the logon. User profile cannot be loaded.
What does this mean and what can I do?


Seriously, brain...

So after that week, what does my brain decide to do?
Give me anxiety dreams and nightmares about job interviews.
For fuck's sake.


Running low

So, this week-
Tuesday: Have stones thrown at me in the street
Thursday: Go for an interview, which is extremely unpleaseant and more like a fight than an interview with an extremely aggressive and insulting person on the panel. Didn't get the job.
Today: Go for an interview for a job I desperately wanted, interview went well and I was fucking stupid enough to get my hopes up. Didn't get the job.

Running out of hope and money, barely any left.




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January 2016


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